She's My Friend

But not my best.

I think I have a complex, and I think I can accurately describe it using the words of Homestar Runner's "Teen Girl Squad."

I'm not often worried about being liked by all, but when I do stop and think about it I feel like I'm liked by most...ish. Anyway, I have developed a complex about this though. I've found that with people that are good friends they like me just not that much. Thus the phrase from So-and-So "She's my friend, but not my best."

So, like "The Ugly One" I have the "She's my friend, but not my best" complex.

The Giver

Today I re-read this book. I love it. So much. Sadly enough I wasn't introduced to this book until my second year of college when one of my professors began cleaning out her office and gave away various books. This is an incredibly good book. The main theme I've picked out of this book is the difference between "Ignorance is Bliss" and "Knowledge is Power."

My own personal beliefs strongly leave me thinking that knowledge is power, but the arguments of "the community" in the novel The Giver are compelling enough to make one believe that ignorance is bliss. That not knowing would be sublime. No pain, no suffering, neglect, sorrow any negative emotion would be ultimately eliminated in ignorance. With these eliminations of negative feelings you would also have nothing on the flipside. No true happiness, no elation, or warmth. No true love. There would be a seamlessness of the "Sameness."

I don't want to give the whole book away if you haven't read it, but it is beautiful, easy to read, and fairly short. This books encompasses attitudes about knowledge versus ignorance while tying it into humanity (sort of haha). Anyway, it is a good book. I'm determined to teach this one once I get there. This might be the beginnings of a lesson plan. I'm excited :)

T.S. Eliot

Mr. Eliot, your poem has perpetually been on my mind. So I think I will share the particular part that has been popping up in my brain. I might have taken this a little out of context, but that's ok right? I'm allowed to do that. I've cited my sources :)

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
By T.S. Eliot

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions
And for a hundred visions and revisions
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

...

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back...

Today

has been a very long, but very successful day. We're going to talk about it in a list :)

1. Ballet. Turns out I haven't forgotten everything and I only look retarded doing some stuff rather than all of it. Also, I was missing it for a reason. I have been awake and attentive in all of my classes, starting long days with ballet was a good idea. Point for me.

2. I sat by the right person today in my Climate Change Lab. The student aid handed us a sheet of equations and numbers to plug in as a "refresher," this is where I would have started crying however my professor then proceeded to say we could work in groups. The girl sitting next to me actually knew what was going on and with our collective knowledge we got through the whole worksheet! Even though neither of us really knew how to work Excel or Math we made it.

3. English classes are basically second nature and I am no longer intimidated by them even if the professor has a reputation that precedes him or her (bring it on British Literature). I was intimidated the first day, but no longer :)

4. Sleep. How I need thee. New rule that I learned from my body this week. It is fairly vital that I get to bed by 10:30 at least 4 nights a week. Yes, I am an old lady (another way to prove this is that I get heartburn... what 20 year old gets heart burn? Oh yeah, me.)

5. Pretty much trying to get a rhythm down. So far it's going ok I think. I need to go shopping (in case you were wondering) and I am excited for school. First week, take that!

New Buses?

Yeah, I thought about this title long and hard. This is what I came up with. I think Cache Valley Transit has invested in new buses and that plus pancakes and eggs for breakfast was the perfect start to the first day of school. So far I've only been to one class, and sadly enough I have to drop said class, but it feels good to be back in school. I know how you, my dear reader, know how much I love school, so I'm pretty happy.

Other happenings? I am no longer the only person in my apartment. My roommates that I knew returned, and we finally met the newest member of our apartmenthold (it's like household, but in an apartment). I also think I am slightly overwhelmed by the amount of people that live around me. I think I have completely forgotten the socialness of Bridgerland and I also think it's going to take me a minute to get used to it. At Oak Meadows the most people we had in our apartment at one time was when my roommate's family came up for dinner one time, yesterday I spent three or so hours in an apartment half the size with twice as many people in them. Also, I didn't know any of my neighbors at Oak Meadows and at Bridgerland I am being inundated with neighbors... they just keep popping up! Not that I don't like it, it's just different. I think I developed claustrophobia during my Oak Meadows days and I think I am going to have to overcome it very very quickly.

In other news I'm just as awkward as ever, and my development of claustrophobia is only adding to that. I am still a little unsure of how to react to roommates that actually want to talk to me, and sharing a room, but I think I will get it. I feel like I had more to talk about, but I forgot what exactly it was. Maybe it will come back to me, and perhaps I'll just have more to write about tomorrow after I've gone to more than one class. Woot for school!

School Days

Is it sad that I wish school would just start already? Maybe it is, but today has been extremely boring so I've just been planning for the upcoming semester. Gotta say I'm actually pretty excited.

Despite USU's lack of reliable registration methods, I have made it into all of the classes I need to successfully apply for STEP teaching program (which I am pretty stoked/scared about). This is officially my last semester of English, and then onto the world of teaching. Very nervous, but very excited at the same time for that. I'm really happy that I've found something that I could really do and love in life. Somehow I think that even if I wasn't kind of a typical Mormon girl, I would still want to teach, which makes me even happier about it.

In other news I am taking a ballet class next semester. This kind of makes me a little sick to my stomach. I've recently decided that I miss dancing and this is how I reconciled that void. I haven't done ballet in about 8 years, but I figured I also have 9 years under my belt so digging up that old information shouldn't be too hard right? I guess we'll see. At any rate I'm nervous but excited, hopefully it doesn't kill me.

Also, I am taking a Climate Change class (mostly because it was one that fulfills my QI requirement and the teacher waived the prerequisite hehe). Hopefully there is little to absolutely no math involved, otherwise this could be an interesting semester.

Overall I'm pretty excited for Spring Semester 2011. I'm inching closer to graduation and I couldn't be more excited about that. Woot for school? I have a feeling I'll be singing a different tune come March haha

P.S. I moved back to Bridgerland. So far it has been pretty boring cause everyone is home for the holidays, but I'm excited to see how the ward is and who is still in it and meet new people that have moved in :)

Music Really Does Say it Better

The last couple of days I've caught a couple lines of a few songs that have just stuck with me. So here it is, a conglomeration of random lyrics from different songs. Enjoy.

"I'll be alright, just not tonight. Someday."

"Can you hear me? Are you listenin'? This is the sound of my heart breakin'."

"In my dreams your dreams come true."

"Gonna leave them going 'oh oh oh'."

"Why don't we just dance?"

"Sure ain't Narnia" (Haha I don't even know what this song is, but it always comes on at work, and this line always makes me laugh.)

Couldn't say why these are the random lines that stuck out, but there they are.