Mud and Roses

It's been said
sorrow, like rain
brings mud and roses

But
those beautiful roses
will always have thorns

Sometimes
you just have to learn
to play in the mud
and dance in the rain.

7 Random Things

I'd rather do the 7 random things about me on my blog than the 25 things on facebook, so I cave and here we go.

I agree with my sister-in-law Chelsea, I hate not knowing what time it is. People will ask me if I have to be somewhere or something cause I always check the time. I just like knowing and I have a terrible sense of time on my own. If I've been inside for a long time for all I know it could be 6 p.m. when really its noon.

I think that if a song is stuck in your head the only way to get it out is to listen to said song. For some reason this always works for me.

Currently I'm seriously thinking about changing majors.

I can't sleep in a really warm room. I can't breath and and if I do fall asleep I wake up all sweaty and gross.

Secretly I wish I was a ballerina :)

In all reality I'm basically a selfish person.

I really like writing lists, hehe.

I'm supposed to tag people, but instead I think I'll just open the floor to anyone that wishes to write seven random things about themselves and I will probably read it eventually :)

What's on your mind?

I don't like when people ask me this normally, but I figured I could answer it to the general public. Or the three people that read this anyway :) Another list...

The song "Congratulations" by Blue October.

Dancing in the rain.

How much I enjoy wasting time.

Random stupid quotes such as "On a scale of one to crazy, I'm penguin!".

How much I love my family, especially the smaller ones that have issues keeping their diapers on. :)

Confusion about how it feels like I don't have a lot of homework... until I get to class

Eating good food

Sleeping, and not on the couch

What homework I should have done yesterday

The Format- she stops and she sings "doot do do do do do do do".... She doesn't get it.

What to do this summer, I'm open for suggestions.

What the topic of my English paper should be.

People that make me smile.

People that make me frown.

People that make me giggle.

Gilmore Girls.

How my roommates put up with me, or anyone for that matter.

The meaning of life.

And so much more... But I've run out of time. Maybe this one will be continued as well.

The Cure

No, I don't mean the band. But the cure to the spontaneous Self-Destruction of my body on itself. It wasn't getting lots of rest, it wasn't trying to convince myself that I wasn't really sick, and it most definitely was not drinking lots of fluids. The cure to my week long personal hell was simple. Going home. Wednesday my concerned mother drove from Salt Lake to Logan to check on her baby. I petitioned for her to come, claiming I wasn't getting better and I needed my mommy. So she came and brought along my little brother. The first thing I did upon seeing my mother was give her a huge hug- hugs make so many things better. Then she asked what I'd like to do first, see a movie, go shopping, go to dinner- any and all of the above. We decided on going shopping. I dunno how I've fed myself for the past six months, my mom bought me fresh fruit and vegetables. For the next several weeks I will eat like a queen... or like a normal person should at least. Then we brought the groceries back to my apartment. I grabbed all my laundry, because I felt as if everything I own was contaminated by the sickness. I got it, stuffed it in the car and we continued home. We didn't make it home before going to dinner (oh having mothers that love you). Anyway, Thursday was the epitome of relaxation. I really didn't think my home in South Jordan would be so missed, but it was just... home. I did all my laundry, helped my sister pack for her trip to Chicago and slept through the night for the first time in a week- not only that but got several extra hours of sleep with naps inbetween changing loads of laundry. I watched movies and hung out in my moms huge comfy bed. After being a slug for several hours I went over to my sisters house. It seems every time I go home I end up babysitting- and I absolutely adore it. These three kids show me that there is heaven on earth. My youngest nephew, Lucas, has just learned to crawl. Jayna the oldest now has homework to do from Pre-School and Logan was acutely aware of his messy curly hair and his new guns. I have to stop myself before I start gushing, but I going home really was the cure. No more being sick for me. Baby Megan needed to be home :)

Doctors orders...

So I guess the doctor was right. My long weekend was ruined. I honestly have felt like some one hit the "SELF DESTRUCT" button on my body and would like it if the process wasn't so long. Just destruct already.

Anyway, I suppose listening to the doctor is a good idea. I think because of my previous blog, karma caught up with me and now is laughing at me. I don't take it back my previous blog, however, the doctor still gave me fairly useless information and wasted my time- not to mention money. I am making use of the twelve dollar information though, and drinking lots of fluids. And nothing else, because that is all that my body will retain.

In conclusion, being sick is crappy. Being sick over a long weekend is even crappier. Doctors are... great... and if this is my last post then you know the freaking slow destruction process has ended.

Open your mouth and say "AH"

Today I went to the doctor. If I had a list of things I hate most visiting the doctor would probably be pretty high, if not in the top 5. Not that I have anything against doctors in general, they're great and save lives and all that jazz, but for me personally nothing good has ever come from going to the doctor and today was no exception. I had been feeling really light headed and basically passed out. So I headed over to the Wellness Center escorted by a good friend (I think he mostly went to make sure I actually got there instead of turning around and walking home). Get into the office, fill out papers. And then wait. 93% of doctors visits consist of waiting. So I waited, I didn't have an appointment so I wasn't as frustrated, but still. Waiting. They call me back, the nurse asks me whats wrong, gets my height, weight, temperature, blood pressure, all that fun stuff. Now I know what the doctor is going to say when he gets in (which wasn't for at least another 20 minutes after the nurse left). He'll say "Well, we're going to need a urine sample". Woohoo, peeing in a cup, my favorite. So they run tests on my lovely pee in a cup and I sit. The doctor returns to poke and prod and ask me if this hurts, or if that hurts and then to take some deep breaths and then looks in my eyes, ears and nose - all of those, mind you, with the same instrument. He asks me to bend and twists and makes sure I have reflexes. Then he leaves for, I dunno, another 25 minutes while I sit on that crinkly paper with that ever present, overwhelming feeling of being ten years old. The nurse brings back two pieces of paper and then mumbles something uninteligable and then leaves me. Waiting. Another 15 minutes later the doctor reappears with the verdict... diagnosis, whichever you'd like to call it. He studies the paper, turns to me and says "Well, you seem to have a stuffy nose so you could be coming down with something so my advice would be to drink lots of fluid, get some extra sleep and make sure you're eating well." This is almost a word for word replication of what this physician told me. He asked me to continue to the front desk and have a nice day. The smiling nurse took my piece of paper and said "That'll be twelve dollars". It would have been more fitting if she'd just smacked me in the head and then laughed at me, but I think thats not a regular practice at the USU Student Wellness Center. So, I walk away from this building contemplating the last hour and fifteen minutes and the information gained from it. Drink lots of fluids. Man, I am ecstatic that I visited the doctor today to have a man that went to 8+ years of higher education to tell me to pee in a cup and drink more fluids. All I have to say is that that was a well spent 12 dollars.

Wishing for something cool to write about....

Today I thought about blogging about several different things. How we watched the Miracle of Life in my Human Development class was probably at the top. Or maybe obnoxious people in my American English Lit class that need to learn to shut their mouths and not be obnoxious. Perhaps an overview of how cold it was today and falling asleep freezing and waking up in a fetal position all cramped up and uncomfortable, however, none of these seemed remotely interesting. I kept thinking, because what else am I going to do other than think of what to write in my blog? Not homework or something productive, what a thought. So in my thinking I came across something good that happened today. It wasn't being unbelievably nauseous for the majority of the day, or girl that can't sit still or close her mouth, but it was institute. Now before you think "Oh geez, here comes classic mormon girl about to gush and gush on a certain subject or other" just read a little further. I promise I won't gush, just share a tidbit of something that caught my eye today. A quote, nothing more. Are you excited yet? Here it is:

"Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome." -Joseph B. Wirthlin

A little play on words and some food for thought.

Christian Dallen Irie Carnley

"The Scottish poet James Barrie wrote, “God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.'" Thomas S. Monson

Here's to the past.
To Perkin's class and the infamous look. To my lawyer. To "Will you go to Sweethearts with me?"... "Sure". To your sweet awesome tie. Remember we got married that night? To endless Seinfeld quotes and to Wendy's frosties and fries. To Isabelle. To four in the morning and wet shoulders.
To always being there.

Here's to the future.
To having roses in the Decembers of our lives. To working like mad, having faith to go on, and deciding today that today is worth it. To making the best of today.
To always being there.

And here's to one of the greatest shows ever. Seinfeld:
The soup Nazi!
"It's more like a full-body dry heave set to music."
"It's not you its me?? I invented 'its not you its me', if its gonna be anyone- It's gonna be me!!"
"They look like keys George, they look exactly like keys"
"Why do they call it ovaltine? The mug is round, the jar is round. They should call it roundtine!"
"Newman!"
"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious!"
"But I don't wanna be a pirate!"....

To be continued.

Take me as I am

To whom it may concern,
I am writing with deep distress. You have not met me, you do not know me, and therefore should not judge me. I am female of the age of 18, I am fifth of six children and know what its like to be the baby of the family. I have a fetish for writing and am prone to making mistakes. If I had to choose between reading and breathing I would have to think about it for a long time and would most likely choose reading. I can be crazy and serious, sad, exciting, loving, caring, hateful, and tearful. Somedays I would prefer to just lay in bed and think about nothing of consequence. My past is behind me, and I would prefer to keep it there. My future is ahead of me and I hope to make the best of it. I believe today is worth it (and by 'it' I mean everything). I am young, this is true, but I have had my fair share of life lessons. To quote a song: I believe in love even when I'm alone, I believe in God even when He is silent. I believe the answers will be known. Music is poetry set to melody, a book is one mans soul entrusted in another mans hands. I like to think that wishing on stars really can make dreams come true, and I do happen to believe in fairys, I do, I do. I'm a movie watcher and a fan of books recommended by my 13 year old brother because he has good taste. My sisters are my gaurdian angels and my three brothers are unstoppable. My niece is a princess, and no one can convince me otherwise. My nephews 'aren't pretty, they're handsome' and will one day race cars and build sky scrapers. I refuse to do math in my head, and therefore have lost all math skills that ever existed. If I am rude to you, I apologize- you must have caught me on a bad day I have those too on occasion. I will never fully understand the movie Deja Vu, so please don't try to explain. Sometimes I forget to eat until after I hit someone. I've never been to Europe, but hope to one day travel- a lot. My friends build me up, hold me up, break me down and then repeat as needed. I have a thing for Jeremy Sumpter, yes the twelve year old boy that plays Peter Pan. I can't spell. I am an English Major. I am a lowly freshman. If given the means, time and capacity I could probably eat my own body weight in food in general. Given the chance I could be a good friend. Given the patience a lifelong friend. Given the opportunity a great love. At this time feel free to think what you will of me, but please just take me as I am.
Sincerely,
Megan K. Leavitt

Fresh Air Anyone?

Ah, the first day of classes. Isn't it great? Always. Classes are good, you've got your new Fivestar five subject notebook just a waitin' for the first notes of the season to be scribbled happily onto it. You sit down in your last class of the day, pleasantly surprised at the fact that the day has been so good (even with the freezing temperatures and falling snow) and then the first thing you do is the stupid uber akward rightleftright to get to a seat while everyone is watching you. Welcome back to middle school. Thats not the end, however. The class begins to fill up, one of the last students trickles in and sits next to you and... WHAM a wall of a mixture of second-hand smoke and B.O. hits you in the face. You desperately try to adjust your seat/head/face to a position where you can gasp at the fresh air on your other side, but to no avail. Doomed to sit in that seat for the next hour you squirm and then give up.

Moral of the story? Fresh air should be for all, not just the fortunate ones that didn't sit by Mr. Whats-his-face suffocating the entire front row.

The Human Brain

Tonight, or this morning whichever you would prefer to see it as, I was astounded by the human brain and how it works. Please excuse me for my lack of technical terms, but the brain is a problem solving kind of thing. It helps you think of analogies, then think of how much that analogy sucks, and then come to understandings you would have never found if you hadn't first thought up that sucky analogy. With understanding the human brain then turns your body to action, with action you feel much better like there's actually something you can do with your life. This action could be something as simple as cleaning up your room, switching up the decor, or putting away things long past due to be put away. Cleaning up and cleaning all thanks to the human brain.

But in her head bumtumbled a comfort or two...

I wrote this on New Years Day, really really early so... Enjoy :)

1. Not knowing if you’re hungry or queasy isn’t really a good thing.
2. The previous note means a perpetual problem; if you eat and you were queasy, then you throw up, and then if you don’t eat and you were hungry, you stay hungry.
3. Crying movies only help so much.
4. Gilmore Girls cures everything.
5. Being cold is not fun, but I’d rather be cold than hot. Why? Let’s ask Robert Frost.

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

That didn’t really make a whole bunch of sense, but I made a strange connection somehow.
6. Roommates and best friends are God sends.
7. Writing is beautiful.
8. Reading is heaven.
9. Crying is cleansing.
10. Everything happens for a reason.
11. Meeting new people is fun, making new friends is great, but no one can ever replace that one person that you’ve known since you were two.
12. Sometimes finding out that your favorite love song is about a sandwich is ok. It helps you deal with disappointments that may come your way.
13. Peace comes to those who love, and it’s said that the only the love you keep is that which you give away; so in the end those who love end up with peace and love. So I pose this question, why not love a little more?
14. Searching Inward, Reaching Outward, and Looking Heavenward.

I like lists. End :)