Random

"Look at your life through heaven's eyes."

"So I learned from you, do do do dododo dodah do do."

"'It's not you it's me?' I invented 'it's not you it's me!' If it's going to be anyone, it's going to be me!"

"One more stupid love song I'll be sick."

"Butt-faced miscreant?"

Maybe I just had a weird kind of random day? But this is what has been going in my head, and at this point I can't sleep so documenting it was all I could think of to do.

Yesterday was Plain Awful

Actually, it was Monday that was plain awful, but I had that song stuck in my head the whole day. And while Monday really was awful, what with incredibly rude adults from youth conferences, and kids I wanted to literally hang, the sun indeed came out the next day. Tuesday's group was fantastic. This group restored my faith in humanity. You might ask me why that is the case, and I will gladly answer. With a list.

First, Tuesday's group, the great group, got there about 15 minutes before I did. This gave me one of those mini-heart attacks because the group from Monday, the awful group, disrespectful group also arrived earlier than the facilitators. If my co-worker hadn't gotten there a little earlier than planned on Monday, I am fairly certain there would have been a thousand injuries; however, Tuesday's group was playing a round of Big Booty and politely waiting for us to arrive, instead of throwing rocks down the hole in the port-a-potty while the leaders talked on their phones.

Another reason Tuesdays group was so great? They listened. They had respect, even for just a 21 year-old-girl who, despite her size, really does know what she's doing.

In my mind the very best thing about this group was their enthusiasm. While explaining the commands for the high elements we instruct them to say "Belay" and then the belayers say "Belay On" and then "Climb" with the response of "Climb On" and then we said: "And then the climber says 'Rock' and the belayers say...?" This group answered with a resounding "PAPER!" I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at the ropes course. Rock, Paper...? We were expecting the phrase Rock On, which followed the pattern. So for the rest of the day we had a leader who, instead of yelling just "On" in response to "Rock," would yell "Paper, scissors, lizard, spock ON!" It made for a fantastic energy that made the whole day simply great.

So thanks goes out to Tuesdays group :) And even though yesterday was plain awful, the sun will come out.

In honor of Troy (the leader who thought the phrase was Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock)

That's Who I Am

Thanks goes out to Jessica Andrews for this song for inspiring the title of this post. This thought is actually on my mind quite a bit. It pops up at random times, like when buying clothes; am I really that girl that can pull off bright purple skinny jeans? Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm that girl. Am I the girl that holes up and watches all three Lord of the Rings in one day? Yes I am. Sometimes I'm the girl that will go out of her way to make you smile, especially if that smile is adorable and perfect. And then sometimes I'm the girl that gives you the "man you're an idiot" face without realizing it. Now, I don't think this would make a good song, Jessica Andrews can continue being the lyricist, but it has been good food for thought. And if we're being honest I think about this all the time, some times more than other times. Like when I met with my cooperative teacher, for instance, he just kept telling me to be myself and I had a mini panic attack. What if I'm not sure of who I am to be myself? The truth of the matter is that I feel like I'm never quite sure of who I am exactly because I never stop changing.

Now, I'm going into rambling mode so buckle up or click out, but I remember my first big realization that I was a very dynamic and changing being. It was the beginning of my sophomore year in high school. One of my best friends from 9th grade was extremely frustrated with me because she wanted to be friends with the Megan from our 9th grade year. I realized that I couldn't be that friend because I was different. She and I had spent most of the summer apart and I had changed. This was so amazing to me. I had changed and there was no going back. I have had many of those realizations since then, but it still amazes me. I have changed, and there's no going back. I suppose I am just made up of change and changes. That's who I am :)