That's Who I Am

Thanks goes out to Jessica Andrews for this song for inspiring the title of this post. This thought is actually on my mind quite a bit. It pops up at random times, like when buying clothes; am I really that girl that can pull off bright purple skinny jeans? Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm that girl. Am I the girl that holes up and watches all three Lord of the Rings in one day? Yes I am. Sometimes I'm the girl that will go out of her way to make you smile, especially if that smile is adorable and perfect. And then sometimes I'm the girl that gives you the "man you're an idiot" face without realizing it. Now, I don't think this would make a good song, Jessica Andrews can continue being the lyricist, but it has been good food for thought. And if we're being honest I think about this all the time, some times more than other times. Like when I met with my cooperative teacher, for instance, he just kept telling me to be myself and I had a mini panic attack. What if I'm not sure of who I am to be myself? The truth of the matter is that I feel like I'm never quite sure of who I am exactly because I never stop changing.

Now, I'm going into rambling mode so buckle up or click out, but I remember my first big realization that I was a very dynamic and changing being. It was the beginning of my sophomore year in high school. One of my best friends from 9th grade was extremely frustrated with me because she wanted to be friends with the Megan from our 9th grade year. I realized that I couldn't be that friend because I was different. She and I had spent most of the summer apart and I had changed. This was so amazing to me. I had changed and there was no going back. I have had many of those realizations since then, but it still amazes me. I have changed, and there's no going back. I suppose I am just made up of change and changes. That's who I am :)